6 Apr

Last night around nine I went out with my friends Jurn and Gee after work (after school [after seminary]). I planned to sleep over and then wake up early so I could drive all the way back from Newtown in time for work at 7:30. Jurn’s soon-to-be-step-brother, Drew, was there. He decided to come out with us to the Asian fusion restaurant whose boss tried to turn me atheist. I was intrigued by Drew, who I’d just met. He was a complete goof-ball of the class clown variety. He’d randomly stand up on top of the car or do a silly dance just for the heck of it. He was funny, in a slightly obnoxious kind of way, and I decided that I liked him.

At dinner, I asked him what grade he was. He looked surprised and a bit indignant for a moment.

“Twelfth!” He said. “Same as you! We went to school together in fifth grade. We were in the same cluster*.”

For the life of me, I couldn’t remember him. As I thought back to my life before Japan, I realized that there was hardly anything I remembered. I had little flashes of almost-memories, and maybe three names. For some reason, it bothered me that this was all I had left in my head.

For the rest of the night, I kept exclaiming (at largely inappropriate points of the conversation) how odd it was that this almost stranger and I had gone to the same school and had been in the same cluster, to boot. After Drew went to bed, I mentioned it again to Jurn.

“Oh, yeah, Drew and I were actually just talking about that. He said you guys were friends… but I guess you don’t remember him.” Something heavy pressed my chest down into my gut. The conversation switched again, but the lump stayed.

My memory loss nagged at me later as I tried to fall asleep. Was it guilt, that I’d forgotten someone who was once close to me? Maybe. But I think what really troubled me was how I’d lost, maybe forever, such a huge chunk of the only life I’ve got. If I can’t remember anything about an entire year of my life after only seven years, what of my life will be left in ten or twenty? I suppose you could say that this boy I once knew reminded me of my own mortality. Who am I to be remembered, when even the King of Kings is forgotten?

`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away”

Ozymandias by Percy Bysshe Shelley

*A cluster is a sub-group made up of two classes that often interact.


7 Responses to “Forgotten”

  1. sherijkennedyriverside April 7, 2013 at 1:07 am #

    Interesting and slightly haunting. You’re a good storyteller and find the right balance of info, action and personal ramble to stay compelling. I’ve been around for quite awhile now, and there are some things from youth I remember perfectly and some things from last year that a friend will repeat and it’s like I wasn’t even there. Weird, but it happens. I don’t think you’ll evaporate or anything. πŸ™‚

    • chloeaevm April 7, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

      Thank you. It’s strange how our minds work like that! I’m glad to hear that I won’t evaporate πŸ˜€

  2. becsym April 7, 2013 at 7:30 am #

    Hello I wanted to just say I am enjoying your A to z … and I have nominated you for an award Becs x

    • chloeaevm April 7, 2013 at 1:16 pm #

      Thank you! My first award, I’m honored πŸ˜€

  3. melanie schulz April 7, 2013 at 3:48 pm #

    That is one of the most frightening things I’ve read yet today. And not just for you, but for me as well. How much have we forgotten and just don’t know it?

    • chloeaevm April 7, 2013 at 3:52 pm #

      Oh, I know. That’s why I think I’ll go back to keeping a journal!

  4. Mikaela Burns April 8, 2013 at 1:01 pm #

    Wow, that’s so true. One of the reasons why to “Liveit2theFull”, hahaha. You just never know how long things are going to last and how long you’ll remember them.

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