To know

7 Dec

Still working on the title. Maybe sisters and mothers.
I can only imagine her pain-

Solitude in a crowd

Neglect in nagging concern

Nothingness in brim, 

That led her to take the pills.
I can only imagine her pain-

Quiet, sweet restraint

Suffering in silent smiles-

(Can’t let the kids know)

 When daughter attempts sister’s way out.
My pain I know.

A Plea to my Sister 

17 Nov

Don’t fall, leaf! Hang on

To that stringy sinew

Anchors you to life
Don’t fall, leaf! Hold strong

Through the torrent till

Light of cool spring returns
Don’t fall, leaf! We need

The knowing: 

November can’t kill you yet.

The Stained Path Home

16 Nov

The leaf-stains left by rain on Fallen limb-partsLaying limp on cold concrete

Mar my walk Home.

I ponder the shapes–

Maple, Garden-variety.
Tomorrow’s sun ascends

A humble soul performs

His role:

Sweeps and mops while he walks.

Leaves cleared, cement unstained–till the leaves fall

again.

Frost

15 Nov

Pale icing on a green cake

Boasting brown misshapen sprinkles

This world is rock with earth caked on.

Chin-Pull

15 Nov

Pudding plods, bleached

Thinned out by some cosmic fork

Whisked around the world and left in layers above the mountain crags

Today, still. But not ever so

Some days, the dairy expires gray, dull

And the clouds lose their magnetic chin-pull.

Just Another Sonnet

24 Nov

I read an article on Rolling Stone
About gang-rapes at college frats
And administrators and “friends” who preach silence.
My eyes are a keg at the end of the night.
I think back on
A party of my own
When I danced with my friends in a cage at a club.

How dare I cage my own
femininity?
How dare I mock
my sisters, screams smothered,
And willingly
showcase my submission?—but
when push comes to “love,” it was just another party.

just to get that last thought away

31 Jan

Sometimes I need to vent my unhappy thoughts to you, little Blog. But then when I’m happy and busy doin my thing, I forget to come back to you. I guess what I’m trying to say is: Sorry, Blog. Sorry for loading you down with sadness and forgetting to tell you about the goodness.

I’m three weeks into my second semester of college. (WOOOOOO! COLLEGE!) I hang out with my boyfriend every day, and I also chat with my girlfriends all the time. I’ve only missed two classes so far, and I do most of my homework. I visit my Hospice patient weekly; she’s a joy to talk to. I’ve started training for a halfironman that I hope to do this June with my mom. I write Fairytaleboy every Sunday. I go to paint parties that stain my clothes irreversibly, and stay out till three chilling at Denny’s or Walmart (the only places open 24 hours round here). I’m reading Wolf Hall, and though I love it, it’s going slow.

I look up jobs over and over, only to find out that they won’t fit my schedule. I look up ways to get into med school, and internships abroad, and how does Vultures go again? I look up whether Steven Hawkings is still respected in the scientific community, and which ancient civilization The Emperer’s New Groove is based on. I look up valentines gift ideas for guys and coupons for food. I look up when are you most contagious, before or after symptoms start? I look up how to say “you make me blush” in French, and I look up how much I’ve spent already. I look up my grades, and answers to homework, and what is the full-ride scholarship cutoff GPA? (Missed by 0.01. Rats.)

In short, Blog, I’m happy.